Monday, October 17, 2011

Do you need a couch?


I’ve always been somewhat shy. I admit it. As a kid, I would hide behind my Dad’s legs trying to avoid the shower of kisses coming down on me from my over-excited relatives. Having my cheeks all sticky and wet afterwards didn’t help much either. 

I guess seeing people at their worst some ten years later, helped even less. How can you ever again think highly of humans, once you feel the shower of bombs coming down on you on a number of different occasions? Even if this can be ascribed to the advancement  of the latest extermination tools that elegantly reduce direct human contact to seeing people as too many dots on the screen, there still remain so many disturbing examples of people whose hands have been covered in fresh blood from cutting somebody’s throat. For those who escape all these wide ranging forms of the war’s brutality and violence, still comes another unexpected challenge of overcoming the usual rejection and hostility refugees encounter on a daily basis. Well, excuse me but one really has to be either blind or stupid or made of stone not to acknowledge it. 

However, there is a good side to it, as once you start thinking of people as inferior to animals, every little act of kindness comes as a miraculous surprise. Rather than being overlooked, any sign of human goodness is much appreciated and supported, especially if it comes from a complete stranger. 

If I had been writing this a couple of years earlier, I would have probably finished here concluding that overall people are to be approached with utmost precaution as very few of them are actually well-meaning. Yet, recently I’ve come to seriously doubt it. 

Ten years ago I could hardly imagine myself going over to somebody’s place after just a couple of hours of conversation, or inviting them to my place. This was reserved to very good friends and relatives only. However, a few days ago I got stuck at my new friends’ place until past midnight talking, laughing and completely forgetting about whatever reason I’d had for being shy and detached. At the end of the last year’s summer, after a couple of months of hanging out with my new friend who turned out to be such a wonderful person, I returned home with eyes full of tears because she was leaving the country and I had already missed her much. Through her I met some more good hearted people whose invitations to birthday parties to some far off places I would have gladly accepted if only I’d had a little more money for travelling. A year ago, I asked another newly met friend to stay over for the weekend and was rewarded with a great company, a big warm hug and even a bigger smile. On another occasion, some of my new friends invited me to their special French pancake dinner party and taught me how to make them myself. And just a month ago I spent one out of many wonderful afternoons with my great friend and conversation companion Elsa at a local cafĂ© whose overshadowing ripe grapes gave us a shelter from the hot summer sun. I’ve met her quite recently too. And the list could go on and on. Actually, the list was too long to fit into my previously constructed perception of the world so that eventually the perception had to be modified. 

The question is how can somebody who is a bit shy, untrusting or overly cautious get a chance to meet some new people and even make a number of new friends? 

Well, it all began with a couch. However, not the familiar one that you sit down on at your friends place for an occasional chit-chat, or the one that you find at a therapist’s. I have come to believe that there is no advice, talk or consultation that can change your mind frame as effectively as the first-hand experience you acquire yourself. So the couch that I have in mind is much more powerful. It enables you to meet new people through their kindness and goodness. 

The idea was born when a group of travel loving enthusiasts decided to build an online community of like minded people who wanted to help each other travel more easily. They created a network of people who fill in their internet profiles by giving a brief overview of likes and dislikes, interests and friends and most importantly offer help to travellers that happen to come to their part of the world. It may be just a walk, talk, having a tea or coffee together or even letting somebody sleep at your couch for a couple of days. The idea proved to be revolutionary as it gave a whole new dimension to travelling. Not only did it become more affordable, but at the same time more interesting and rewarding as well. For how can you possibly feel what the new place is like and how it lives and breathes if you don’t get to know its people? And for those who don’t have enough money to travel around the world themselves it is now possible to welcome the world at their own home.

Here is where you can research into it yourself: Couchsurfing

To tell the truth, I was initially very skeptic about it but luckily also curious enough to give it a try. Coffee after coffee, lemonade or tea and I could slowly feel the change coming on. Certainly not all of these new acquaintances were life changing, yet quite a number of them were. What is even more important is that once you let down your guard, other people start approaching you more easily as well, including those outside the couchsurfing community.  

So these days I’m looking forward to having some of my new friends over for dinner, lunch or sleep-over and as soon as having enough money coincides with having enough free time, I’ll fly off to visit some of these great people all around the world.